“Don’t compare your first iteration to someone else’s 1000th”
Don’t compare your first iteration to someone else's 1000th
You probably won’t enjoy reading this.
It has been long enough (over five years) since I last wrote consistently that I am no longer very good. This sentence was tough to write since so much of my identity is tied up in being a writer.
I have long admired Jay Shetty, not for his writing prowess; I haven’t yet read any of his books, but for the ease of his delivery when speaking. He doesn’t seem at all phased by the stage. I assumed this to be a natural ability and, if I’m honest, envied him a little. Then I learned about his disastrous first attempt at public speaking and that he had subsequently enrolled in a drama and public speaking program that he attended for seven years. He did his reps.
It is widely acknowledged that one can improve practically anything through repeated practice. I know this. You know this. Just about everyone knows this. However, some of us (maybe most of us, or perhaps just me) believe there is at least one area of natural disinclination we can never improve. In my case, there is a fear of not being -not just good- but perfect the first time. Highly irrational. Only slightly less insane is the fear of not being perfect the second time, which causes me many times to never attempt again a thing I failed at the first time.
The irony of all of this is that I know better. Not only do I conceptually understand that failure is integral to success and that consistent repetition yields increased mastery, but I also have tons of real-life evidence across various phases of my life.
However, I have struggled to internalize this idea and have grown tired of fighting the battle in my mind. Instead, I’m going to do this work in public. I have many failed reps ahead of me.
Some practical steps I’m learning and putting into action:
Atomize
Once you figure out what it is you want to improve, break it down into its component parts. Break each of those steps down into their components. Repeat until you can’t break it down any further. Ideally, this task will take no longer than an hour to complete. I find the 5–4–3–2–1 framework useful here. It works like this:
Pick a skill and decide what you want to be doing with it in 5 years,
Then, draft an objective (or milestone) you can achieve in 4 months. This is a reasonable planning horizon for a small-to-medium-sized project,
Decide what you can realistically achieve in 3 weeks,
Plan the next 2 days and
Complete the atomized task in the next 1 hour.
Schedule
Schedule the next task immediately. Ideally before you begin the task at hand or at the absolute latest as soon as you complete the task.
Find Community
Find people who challenge your fears, people who may not know you well enough to know your limitations. These could be friends, mentors or coaches. Look for people who inspire you and those who share your interests or goals.
Stay Accountable
One way to do this is by using the aforementioned community as an accountability network. Another more extreme method is to neuter the fear of failure by increasing the cost of not following through. You could, for example
Put your credibility on the line by making a public commitment,
Pledge to do something unpalatable if you don’t follow through (you could also make this public)
Finally,
Do the reps
After each iteration, spend five to ten minutes reflecting on what worked, what didn’t, and whether you learned anything that you can use in the next iteration.
Right now, I have no idea how effective these steps will be, but I will know a little more after a few reps.